popping in to say...HELLO!

I just read the last post, and you were just beginning to talk...you're full on speaking in sentences now and able to fully communicate with us...wow...where have I been?!

oh well, that's just life && we've definitely been living it!

so while I don't have the time to write a lengthy post, i did just figure out how to link my two blogs together, the old & new; now it's all just "letters to mamie" && who knows, maybe i'll change the name again one day to "letters to my babies" or "always under construction" because our lives are always ever changing & growing. #deep

but like i alllways say, i need to post more on here. i write little notes on my iPhone so I will remember moments to document, but then i never get around to actually typing it out. and let's be honest, my brain is definitely not what it used to be; plus i love hearing stories from someone's past; so i guess this is my way of being able to remember the little moments better.

that's all for now, BUT i'm vowing to get on here more often and write!!

i'll leave you with some pictures because i also noticed i'm lacking in that department too...

giving me a butterfly kiss

Daddy was in Bermuda & we snuggled every night in bed

you always say to me, "take my picture with Dooley please."

In the Bamboo Forest at the Zoo

Balancing a seashell on your knee, you said, "take a picture Mommy!"

Again, you wanted your picture taken with your pups!

the princess is awake!

Blair Chickie at 2 weeks old

I will always love snuggling with you...

crazy eyes

Slumber Party!!!

Slumber Party was a success!

my paradise at the Roces' Beach house

In Gommy's '95 Station wagon

peas mommy

you have finally started stringing together little two-word sentences. milk mommy / outside dada / love you do do [Dooley] / come chief, no chief

whenever you ask for something, i will ask you how we say it nicely. you'll say, peeeas. your little words melt my heart. i absolutely love hearing your little voice.

the other night around 4 a.m. i kept feeling you stir in the bed. you finally sat up and said, tummy mommy. this was your way of asking to lay on my bare tummy. we think it has something to do with breastfeeding and the skin-to-skin contact. i told you, not now, and to try and fall back asleep, but you responded with the cutest peeeas mommy. so i let you snuggle on my tummy.

in a month or so i know these tiny two-word sentences will become longer requests. i'm looking forward to it, but for now a simple peas mommy will get you anything in this world.

honey badger is your spirit animal

girlfriend!! you have been a little monster lately. I'm pretty sure your top canine teeth are about to cut, and Mama knows you do not like cutting teeth! Daddy and i are heart-broken for you during these times. I can't imagine what the pain feels like - we've all experienced it though. I kind of remember my 12 year old molars coming in, and it was dull achy pain. no matter what it feels like, i can tell you don't like it. You have not been yourself for the past week. You (and half you class) had a case of stomach bug/diarrhea, followed by the teething (or so I hope). Your temperature will spike and then drop back down to a low-grade fever. your mood gets worse in the evening, and these past two nights all you want is me snuggling up next to you. i will snuggle you to sleep and then try to sneak away to go do chores/cook dinner for Daddy, and next thing i know your wailing, half-awake-half-asleep in the bed. then it takes another 20 minutes to soothe you back to sleep. It's rough, but could be worse. I hope you always want to snuggle with me.

you're starting to speak tiny sentences, and give little commands. you are very independent! almost to a fault. we both get so frustrated at each other; you want to do everything by yourself. you definitely have your father's personality. so yeah, were trying to figure how to nurture you without hindering your independence....OK, i have no clue what I'm talking about here. sometimes i feel so overwhelmed with you and Daddy. it scared me to think that you guys might gang-up on me one day. you're too smart for your own good!

this morning it was a struggle to get you dressed. and then put your socks on, and God-forbid i put your shoes on for you. i have to secretly get your shoes out (i took all your shoes away and put them in Daddy's closet because of the temper-tantrums you would have over them - I'll save that for another post). you love love love love love loooove shoes... i get your shoes all ready; untie them; pull the tongue back and widen them up so it's easy for you to slip on. well this morning, when you tried to look down to slip your shoes on, your dress would get in the way of you seeing what you were doing. i tried to pull your dress back, but you lost it when you thought i was helping you too much. this escalated really quickly with you screaming and wanting your dress off. we were running late for playschool and work and i let my temper flare. "MAE, PUT YOUR SHOES ON NOW!" now mind you, i have to say that I've been realllly patience this past week regarding your mood, your feelings and what not, but in this moment i lost it and yelled. girlll, I've never seen you mind me more than in this moment. you picked up your shoe and asked me for help. the moment didn't last long before you were off whining about something else. but i felt as if i accomplished something great. and in that moment i was Mommy, the shoe warrior-princess. ugh! i do not like yelling at you, and I'm sorry i did (kinda)...

Today is our FriYAY, so tomorrow will be just you and me, all day. i plan on snuggling with you and getting laundry done. i pray that you will be feeling better and we can both enjoy our day together -- heck, I pray that you are feeling better and we can enjoy tonight! Maybe you will even go to bed without having to lay your head on my tummy to fall asleep and mayyybe Daddy and i will get to snuggle on the couch and watch some Netflix ;)

love you sweet-thang. growing up is hard, but i promise i will be here for you every step of the way. XO

what dat?

you will be 17-months-old on the 21st and i wish i could stop time and keep you this age forever!!...this is seriously the best stage yet! you are like a tiny little person. you sit and try to chat with us. it sounds like a bunch of marbles are in your mouth. mornings are the best. you wake so rested and happy. i noticed last night that you no longer cry when i get out of bed in the middle of the night. you woke up to nurse and i quietly told you that i would be right back; that i needed to potty. you used to start crying and try to follow me off the bed, but this time you patiently waited and snuggled up with me when i climbed back in bed.

you played outside with Dada in the garden while i was cooking last night. it was so cute. i came out to check on yall and Dad had given you your own little tomato plant to plant. when you saw me you got really excited and started rambling off what you were doing. at least that is what i think you were talking about. then you guys came inside and washed your hands for dinner.

i just love summer time with you. the days are longer; you get to do fun things with your grandmothers during the day. you've already been to the zoo, and the pool, and of course the beach.

you surprise me all the time with new words, or answering a question i've asked. you will say "whats dat?"or "what?" you know exactly what you want, and you will let whoever know. you say the cutest "no" when you don't want to do something. and last week you said Christine's name, instead of just 'Tine.

you love shoes. any and all shoes. you will come to me with two different pairs and then sit down and go back and forth over which pair you are going to wear.

you laugh during tv shows and movies. you're interacting with shows. you sing and dance and twirl. you love the song twinkle, twinkle and happy birthday. anytime you see birthday related stuff (cards, cake) you say happy. it is one of the cutest things you do.

you are the best sunggler and sleep so well snuggled between Dad and me.

you are obsessed with James and Christine is obsessed with you.

Dada and I are thinking about taking you to a movie in the next couple months.

to think at one time, i panicked over whether I'd be able to prepare dinner without interruption, or do any of my chores without needing to hold you too seems like its becoming a distant memory.

watching you grow this past year has been the most rewarding challenge of my entire life. it has been the best year of my life so far. you are an amazing little human. you are one-of-a-kind for sure.

i love with you my whole heart that it hurts. thinking about you makes me want to be the absolute best Momma in the world.

i miss my baby so much, but i am so excited to watch you grow up. one of the most amazing things is getting to watch you experience all this, and i'm so happy i get to be right there next to you helping you along the way.

Dada better watch out because we might need to add to our little family soon!!

ear tubies

Mamie, i'm so behind in writing to you!! i'm so sorry, life is moving so fast and it's sometimes hard to keep up with what we/you are doing....

a couple months back (March 17th to be exact) we scheduled you to have tubes put in your ears. not a huge deal, but still kind of scary for me, as a first time Mom. it was a quick and simple operation. you were gone from my arms less than 10 minutes. it's made the biggest difference in all aspects of our life (mostly yours).

you had three back-to-back ear infections. you hated the antibiotics. i was literally having to strait jacket you, then wrangling you down all the while trying to squeeze a syringe of yucky medicine into your mouth, and hope that you swallowed more than you spit out. it was difficult, and i was afraid that you were going to choke on the meds.

it wasn't fun for either of us. the pain from the ear infection made you fussy, irritable, affected your appetite, sleeping; caused you to get high fevers. so when we took you to the Doctor's and were told you were on your third infection, we discussed having the tubes put in...and i wish i had done it sooner! your personality did a full 180. you were happy again and not fussy. you enjoyed dinner time. i wasn't terrified of getting water in your ear and it turning into an infection. you would fall right to sleep at night; overall just a happy baby :)

liquid gold: crying over [un-spilt] milk?

So a couple weeks ago it was "World Breastfeeding Week", and that's when i had planned to write this post, but of course, life got in the way.

Here I go: We are officially done with nursing...and I cannot believe I [we] made it that long! It was a looong 17 months. There were so many times that I went back and forth on when to quit and essentially it happened pretty naturally. There were a quite a few tears and a night or two that you woke up crying for it, but I knew it was time. I could tell i was turning into a pacifier for you. And to be honest, we probably could have stopped way sooner, but you were sucking the calories out of me and I liked being skinny.

Will i nurse my next baby? You betcha!! I miss it, and I cannot wait until i get to experience that oxytocin rush associated with nursing. Plus like I said before, eating whatever i want and having the excess calories go towards milk production, is a win/win if you ask me. Although I doubt next baby gets the luxury nursing sessions you received (I'm talking about how you somehow managed to wiggle your way into our bed). Dada is going to have to buy you a TemperPedic mattress to get you to sleep in your own bed! lol, jokes on him ;)

So, where do i start...

From day one i planned to breastfeed. i read every article about it on the Internet and watch tons of YouTube videos of moms nursing their babies. To say I did my research is an understatement. I knew the minute you were born we needed to do skin-to-skin and try to get you to latch and start nursing asap. we did it, you immediately latched and you were a champ at nursing.

Breastfeeding has so many health benefits for babies and moms, but I'm not going to get into any of that...

I've probably written about most of my memories nursing you, but here are some of the times that stood out the most to me:

i thought i had the flu the second week of your life. Dada literally took care of you that first week, so once i was feeling better the second week Dada took a much-deserved day off and went fishing. later that afternoon i started having chills and an all-over not feeling very well. i took my temperature and it was around 101 F. i started panicking, insisting i had the flu. called the pediatrician to see if i needed to quarantine myself (oh wait the baby still needs to eat!!!). i was so upset and crying. i had Joanie buy me a face mask so i could still feed you. i googled what to do, because of course i needed a second opinion regarding what the Pediatrician told me...it's best to nurse through the sickness. Essentially a person has the virus in their system before symptoms show, so by the time you realize you have a cold the baby has already received antibodies from the breast milk to keep them well. liquid gold right there if you ask me. plus, i read that it's very hard for a newborn to catch a cold because their bodies have so many antibodies that are built up in the womb. but that;s beyond the point.

pumping at work. it sounded like an oil rig. I would lock myself into a small office with bright pink computer paper taped to the glass window and crank up the machine. i hated having to ask my employer if i could go pump and I'm sure they were happy to take the hot pink paper down and turn the lactation room back into an office. plus the breast milk in the fridge; it had to gross someone out.

you wanted to nurse ALL. THE. TIME. and i hated being tied down. or having to excuse myself at family functions to go feed the baby.

Dada started calling me the Milk Maid. He walked into the bedroom one time when you were about 14 months old and said, "she looks way to big to still be nursing." But he and I both knew that we were giving you the best of the best!

You didn't cut a tooth until around 9, maybe 10ish months, so I'm pretty sure that had a lot to do with how long we nursed. People would ask if you would bite me, and you never really did. When you cut your top teeth you would bite every now and then, but you were also at an age to understand that if you bit me, no more boob. so I think that if you were younger when you started cutting teeth it might have been a different story.

I'm sure there are so many more stories that i could write about nursing and such, but I've had this post in draft-form since the beginning of this blog, so I'm going to wrap it up and call it done!

Now, to start thinking about getting you out of our bed! Just kidding...i love snuggling with you :)

xoxo,
Mommy

tantrums...are we there yet?

i don't know if we are at the "tantrum stage" yet, but you are certainly throwing hissy-fits when you don't get your way. it's pretty comical, and most of the time its due to me not wanting to hold you, or holding you and putting you down. you do this body contort thing where you monkey-hold and then won't put your feet down on the ground. i end up slowly laying your whole body down on the ground and you lay there whining.

anyways...i want to remember all of this; the highs & lows, ups & downs. 

[excerpt from my iPhone notes] i'm snuggling with you right now. it's late, but Dada and i have the day off tomorrow. i'm pretty sure you threw your first temper tantrum during bath time tonight. maybe not by definition, but you definitely threw some sass at me.while i was giving you a bath you threw the washcloth out of the tub a couple times. it was saturated with water and i kept telling you "no no", however you continued to do it. on the third time i took the washcloth away. you then picked up the bath cup, filled with water and preceded to toss it out, over the side of the tub, water went everywhere! i did not yell, i quickly pulled you out of the tub, told you "NO NO!" while i showed you the mess and took you to your room to get dressed for night-night. i think you understood what you did wrong, because when we went back to drain the tub you kept saying "no no no".