easter weekend | 2016

this past Easter weekend was full of fun and celebrating with both family & friends. i'm just now realizing how much fun having a child during the holidays really is! last year you were around 2-3 months old, you mostly slept and ate; this year i chased you all over the place!!

our weekend started out with dinner at the yacht club with the Rosenblooms. we put you and Christine's highchairs next to each other, and i've never seen you eat so much in your entire life! by the time dinner ended i was scared to give you anymore food in fear you'd puke when we got home. i might have mentioned before, but C is a good eater and i think it's good for you to eat with her because it motives you. i'm beginning to think you might be a binge eater (j/k, kinda)...you will gorge yourself one day and then go a couple days eating like a bird. sometimes i wonder how you stay alive. but you could also be filling yourself up on da liquid gold every night ;) we really need to nix this habit.  Dadda said you look too big to still be nursing; i attribute your fixation to how a crackhead loves cocaine...the addiction is real. lol. we will work on it.

Saturday afternoon we went over to the Bromberg's house for an egg hunt. Christy's house is impeccably decorated, but not very child-appropriate. she had bowls beyond bowls everywhere you turned filled with jellybeans, m&ms, malted eggs. i would be 20 lbs heavier if i lived at her house. Every time i saw James, his hand was dipping into a bowl of candy :) and you, little missy, got your hands on a malted egg and was able to nibble a bite off the top before i pried it from our hands. it was a tiny bite, so i left you enjoy the wonderfulness that is the malted candy egg. 

my favorite part of the day was seeing all your little friends dressed up in their Easter outfits (of course, saving the best for the following day :)) little man and robin were in town with baby zoë. shes about 3 months older than you and C. and then there's Ann Fleming, who's about 5 months older. i cannot wait to watch all you of grow up together!!

that night we went to Joanie's. aunt meme put pictures of Facebook so you can check that out there :) and of course Joanie got you a bunch of nonsense toys, but nevertheless you enjoyed them.

i forgot to put your Easter basket out Sunday morning...#momfail. and even bigger #momfail if you read this before you know #imtheEasterBunny. but at least you little. i ended up giving you your toys that evening after bath time. plus you liked the flip-flops Joanie game you most of all. Dadda and  i got you new white summer sandals, a big pool/beach towel; a big girl cup with matching plastic straw; some socks with bunnies on them; and plastic animals toys. 

on Sunday I talked Dadda into going to church with Joanie and me. we put you in the nursery, which is your classroom for Playschool. we celebrated Jesus's life and sacrifice; which i realize will probably be hard to explain in the coming years. James didn't really get it this year; he is 3.5. but one day :) afterward Dadda and i took you to Gommy's house for a big family Easter lunch. as always it was delicious. everyone there fawned over your dress. which i do have to say was beautiful (thank you Joanie :)) you didn't nap the whole day and fell asleep that night at 6;30 pm. Dadda went to Uncle Lock's to play video games and I got to be lazy on the couch. it was close to a perfect weekend celebrating all that Jesus did for us here on earth.

love you baby girl!! I cannot wait to spend all the holidays with you. you make them so special. i love that i'm your very best friend and that you want to be with me always, preferably being held. i know one day i will miss all these "firsts" with you. you are the best thing that has ever happen to you Dadda and me!!!!

xoxo.

Mama

weekend update - march 5/6 2016

mamie, i don't have much to write about today but i had to jot this down or else i'd forget!!

we took you to the St. Augustine Seafood Festival (it was a bust) with some friends on Saturday. we ended up walking around St. George Street and going to a bar by the "beach" instead. you behaved so well!! i got a little stressed at the bar; i gave up drinking for Lent, so while everyone had their toes in the sand enjoying their Rum Runners and Painkillers (or whatever they are called) I was chasing you around and yanking you from trying to get in the ocean...luckily Daddy could tell i was stressing, so he arranged for us to go home earlier than the rest of our crew. i've really noticed he is becoming more patience with me over the small things that i freak about. anyways, you immediately passed out on the way home and we enjoyed chatting and reminiscing about the day.

lately you've been taking one morning nap and forgoing the afternoon nap. this sometimes works out well, but sometimes you turn into a little monster by 5 o'clock. yesterday, Sunday, this was the case - i could tell you were slowing getting tired and cranky, so when 5 p.m. hit i fed you medicines (antibiotics for an ear infection; zyrtec for allergies; Tylenol for any pain from ear or teething). i got your dinner ready and started you a warm bath. Daddy was playing soccer with Uncle Lock, and I had finished everything i needed to get done, so you were my main focus.

you ate a couple bites of dinner, but were quickly over your raviolis. i could tell melt-down was in full effect!! you kept throwing your hands in the air (sign for "all done") and getting super frustrated that i wasn't getting you out fast enough. you could hear the bath water running (and you love the bath) so i knew that's where you wanted to be...im noticing more and more that you're "running the show" - we are going to have to make some changes to that!! anyways, i finally get you in the bath and you call down. i'm pulling out your bath toys and i hear some bubbles...i look over to see that you've pooped!

i quickly gathered the toys that were on the opposite side of the bath. (i've already washed them in the dishwasher once this past week from you pulling this stunt). and pulled you out to drain the tub, and start the process over.

every time i drain the water from the bath, you like to look over the side and say "bye!" to the disappearing water. your favorite bath toy is the fishing pole. it has a magnetic end that you "catch" rubber fish with, but you are not coordinated enough to catch them yet. you try, but get frustrated.

after the bath drained and i gave it a good rinse, you were starting to melt-down again. i put you back in the tub and lathered you up, rinsed you off and wrapped you up in a towel. i got your diaper and p.j.s on and took you into my room to lay down. you nursed for about two minutes and then closed your eyes and were asleep...it was 6 p.m....

i was excited but knew i was probably making a mistake by letting you fall asleep that early.

low and behold at 9 p.m. you were wide awake and ready to party. but to make a looong evening story short...around 10;30 when we finally all got back in bed, as Daddy and i lay whispering back and forth about you, we had said our"good nights' and "i love yous". we thought you too were about ready to doze off, when out of know where we hear a tiny little whistle. and then another one, one after the other until neither of us could hold back our laughter. i was crying tears i found it so funny! you then laughed at Dada and i for laughing at you.

Daddy and i both agreed that you are the love of our lives! you will always be our little girl; and even though i know we have more love to give your future sibling(s) one day, i cant imaging loving anything as much as i love you.

13 months

hi sweet baby girl! i know i've written it before, but i just cant believe what a big girl you have become! when i say "big girl" i mean in the way you are beginning to interact with people; you are still so tiny. everyone comments on your petite size, however you have the biggest personality!!

i've started asking for your "help" with little tasks around the house. for example, when we feed the dogs, i'll have you carry a food dish over to the spot where we feed them. i say "two hands" and can see you watching me, like a monkey-see-monkey-do. all the time i will ask you to pick up a piece of trash and throw it away. you are becoming very good at following commands and understanding what i'm saying. when we are playing i will say, "oh no! i hear baby Lillie crying! i think she needs a baba." and you will walk over, pick up your baby doll, go find the play bottle and feed her. i love it! you are a very sweet Mama to your babies! when i first gave you the play bottles for your babies, you didn't understand it was fake and you kept tipping them up trying to get milk/juice from them and then becoming upset. Daddy and i were cracking up watching you; and i quickly went and made you a sippy cup of milk.

Daddy and i have been bringing you out with us lately; last weekend we took you to the Riverside Beer Festival and two Sundays in a row we have taken you to brunch at Mellow Mushroom. you love it! and all of our friends love seeing you!! i hope it will help you become well socialized :)

you can say quite a few words really well. you say "bye" very clearly; sometimes you say it when you are ready to leave, like you are over a situation and you're calling the shots...its quite hilarious!

you say "more" when asking for more milk. but you say it more like "mo" (long "o" - very southern sounding). you sometimes say it in your sleep; i always wonder if you are dreaming about nursing.

you also can say "Dooley and Chief" - you don't say it often, but every now and then you will blurt it out. you get the happiest look on your face because you know how proud and excited it makes Dada and me!! and we praise you and ask you to say it again; you then might faintly whisper something that sounds like the pups' names, but its like you have to think real hard to get the sounds to come out correctly.

lately every time we get into bed to read books at night time (as long as you're not too tired), you like to crawl around underneath the covers. Dada showed you how cool it was, but now you like to do it every time we get in bed!! you cry and tug at the covers until i lift them up and let you crawl under, and then you want me to crawl under too and read you books!

last night [Feb. 29, leap day/year (?)] you were so restless!! ugh, it drove me crazy!! i was exhausted from staying up late the night before watching a show with Daddy and when you started tossing and turning  knew I had a long night ahead of me. you finally settled down sometime early in the morning; probably out of sheer exhaustion. i'm praying for a better night sleep for all of us tonight.

Daddy and I finally took you to the Zoo!! i was definitely WAY more excited than you, haha! Daddy had President's Day off and so i decided to take the day off as well and we took a family outing to the Zoo. Joanie bought us a family year-pass so we can go anytime we'd like to. the zoo has not really changed since the last time i'd been there, probably my senior year of high school, but they do have a new Asia exhibit that houses a couple tigers! your favorite animal!!! i could hardly contain my excitement when we finally arrived at the exhibit! it is literally the last stop in the zoo, and also the place where i noticed kids having melt-downs left and right. Daddy pretty much high-tailed it out of park once we had seen the tigers, haha!

Something else pretty exciting, Christine is on the verge of walking!! Last Sunday at dinner she would let go of whatever she was holding onto and would take a couple steps! I cannot wait for her to start walking; oh wait, i take that back! y'all will be into everything!!

i have never seen anything cuter than when you and C are together. Christine's face literally lights up when she sees you and you both can't wait to give the other a hug!!

you continue to love pacis, however your two middle fingers on your right hand are your go-to. you also continue to be a paci stealer! this past Sunday before dinner C was sucking on her paci and when you noticed she had it, you quickly marched over and took it from her. y'all preceded to go back and forth, stealing the paci from one another, until you took it from Christine and then offered (more like stuck) you two fingers and her mouth for a try! you two are absolutely hilarious to watch, and i swear you have this weird sister/twin bond from being together since before birth!!

you continue to amazing me all the time! your little mind absorbs so much and you are learning new things daily!!

love you more than you will ever know, i promise!!

Mama

#truelife : fortune cookies

i've been meaning to post this picture for awhile, but never got around to it until now. these were fortunes from some random Chinese/Japanese meal Daddy bought us fall 2015.

can you guess who's was who?

the top one is yours; middle is mine' and bottom one is Daddy's...they are pretty true for each of us! at least hopefully true for each of us, i'm still waiting for mine to come true!!

#fingerscrossed

one, and then some

Ok, so i just posted that last letter and then started re-reading some of my older posts, and i have to apologize for writing the saddest one-year-old post ever!! i'm so sorry baby!

so attempt #2: let's see...you turned freakin' ONE! you's a BIG GIRL WALKIN' too!!

we had a joint birthday with Christine. the cake smash was epic! best cake smash anyone has ever witnessed. i'm positive we could win big on America's Funniest Home Videos!! a short video is on Facebook, so you might have to reference multiple social media sites when reading these one day...

in other news, did i mention you are walking!! this happened in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but by your birthday there was no more crawling. i love it!! although now you just follow me around crying for me to hold you, haha! i do, and i will until you get too big.

to say im obsessed with you is an absolute understatement! im really jealous of your eyebrows. you've got some great arches.

literally right now you are in my arms nursing while i type this sentence one-handed. i was out on the couch, but you woke up (its midnight) and i decided to move back to the bed. im wide awake and now im regretting drinking the RedBull i found in Joanie's fridge at 5 PM. yikes, it could be a long night!!

i just checked my notes on my phone where i jot down little things to remember when i write to you here and i realized i haven't been keeping up with it!

Ok, I might have to cut this short! I have so many updates that I want to write about since the last "10 months" post, but Aunt Meme (Mary) is texting me and she is currently around the world in Cambodia!!! I will get better about writing to you again!

Love you baby!
Good night - Momma

ONE

Mamie,

it's been a little over a week since you've turned one. you are growing up so fast! i love watching you become a big girl. the other day i told you to stop acting like a baby and grow up (i was only kind of kidding). you do this whiny act when you dont get your way; it sounds like a super forced cry, and then two seconds later you're over whatever made you upset and on to the next thing. Aunt B called you a wild-woman the other day; that kind of scared the shit out of me. you are sweet when you want to be, and a whiny b.r.a.t the other half of the time...pretty much, you're becoming me. Dada and i certainly have created a monster.

let's see, i havent been good about writing to you lately. life's busy, and we are moving fast (you make us move fast)!! i am enjoying you a lot more. that sounds horrible to say, and i dont mean it in a bad way, but darn, months 4 through 9/10 were difficult for me. i have learned so much about myself over this past year. you have definitely made me a better person. i pray daily to God for patience. i've had to let my anxiety go over keeping the house spic & span (spelling?). i think that's why those months were hard for me, because i was learning to let [certain] things go.

right now you are a sleep on our bed. i'm beginning to think i'm going to have the harder time moving you to your own bed. i love snuggling you. we are still nursing a couple times a night. sometimes i will deny you the boob and you sit up in bed whining and doing the sign for milk; so i cave and let you nurse. you are nursing a lot less, so i'm just going to let it play out; i've read most babies wean themselves, which would be a lot less stressful on both of us.

we've got a pretty good nightly routine down. we get home, play a little while i pick up and start dinner; you eat around 6:30ish while watching TV (i know i shouldn't start habits like this, but it's what is working for us)...i learned you will eat a lot more if you focus on something other than me. you can pretty much eat everything Dada and I eat, i just cut it into tiny pieces. for the longest time i was scared to feed you "real" food because you would always choke, but i think i was giving you too big of bites. anyway, after dinner i take you straight to the bath. sometimes we play, sometimes it's a quick rinse and get out, but i've learned that bath-time is a big part to the routine and you go to sleep better and faster after a warm bath. after p.j.s we might play a little more depending on the time, but 7:30 is time to pick out some books, climb in bed, read, and lights out. it was this part of bed-time that used to stress me out, because i knew i had chores to finish and dishes to clean, not to mention if i still hadnt eaten (or fed Dada) yet; but these past couple months i've cut myself (and you) some slack. you are not going to be my baby forever and i began to realize i needed to cherish our moments together. so some nights you might roll around trying to get tired, asking for more milk, wanting to look out the window at the moon, and we do just that. God forbid a chore on my list goes un-checked; that moment where i cant take it anymore because it's the umpteenth time you've sat up in bed while im trying to get you to sleep, and you lean over and plant a big wet kiss on my mouth, and then crash back down and you're out - that is what makes my job the best in the entire world - that is what i live for - and that is what makes me fall deeper in love with you; it's over-coming the hard, trying moments that make me realize the amazing gift i have. that gift is you, baby. you are the best part of every day, and i know Dada would agree with me.

so here is the sad part, because sometimes sadness is inevitable. i pray daily to God. i pray for lots of different things, i pray because i'm thankful, sad, mad, happy, you name it, i've prayed for/about it...
i brought you into this world because i was selfish and wanted you; and i'm so happy and thankful God entrusted me to be your mother. but i'm not going to lie when i think of all the horrible things that i have subjected you to. this world is a scary, shit-show of a place and there are people crazier than me out there. i am certain that you will hear about these types of people; you will witness their horrific acts. i pray that you never see these things first-hand.

for 9+ months i had "total" control over you. i was the one keeping you safe, and then it was time to bring you into this world. i wept the day i left the hospital because i was scared to take you out into the world, but i did want to share you with all the people i loved, so that made it easier. raising you this past year has been stressful; i have daily anxiety for your safety. i know that it will only increase the more i have to loosen my grip on your independence. one day i will not be able to have authority over you and i will have to let you go, and i know part of me will be happy. happy that i've raised you well enough (hopefully ;)) to let you be on your own, but know that my heart will be weeping, because you will always be my little baby.

i hate writing about this in my letter to you, but i've experienced a life-shaping event. one of mommy's oldest and dearest family friends passed away tragically in a car accident this past weekend. she was not wearing her seat belt and the injuries sustained took her life. she was an amazing person who helped change a lot of peoples' lives through the dogs she trained and her infectious personality. this was one of mommy's best friends' big sisters. she was an organ donor and ended up saving five other people's lives. i've done a lot of crying this past week; i hate having to watch some of my oldest friends go through this tragedy. it's absolutely heart-breaking and i pray our family never has to experience this type of pain. i haven't wanted to cry in front of you. i break down at the most random times. for awhile it seemed like a bad dream. she has already gone to be with God, but tomorrow her family will lay her body to rest. it will be a hard day for a lot of people. i know over time i will begin to feel "normal," but anytime i think of Kaye and Leigh, i lose it because i cannot imagine losing my sister. and anytime i think about how their mom might feel, i literally lose my breath and my heart feels like it might stop. that is a feeling i pray i will never fully understand.

Mamie, i love you more than you will ever know. i promise to always keep you safe and have your best interest at heart. you are the very best thing that has ever happened to Dada and i. i promise to not over-exaggerate over the little things in life, because quite honestly, life is too damn short. i love you sweetheart and have had the best year of my life so far. thank you for making it happen and being a part of it. i love you more than words can describe. i love you so much it hurts! i love being your mom and watching the little, sassy lady you are becoming. i am going to end this with two Bible verses i have seen over the past week that have helped guide me through this difficult time. i love you baby.

Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

6in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight

#truelife: i went behind your back...

confession: i recently cut the pacifier off Wubby because it is a paci for babies, and is not an orthodontic paci so it would cause all your new toothies to become buck, as in buck-teeth.

i did this one day while you were napping and then put Wubby back in the crib.

last night while playing in your room before bedtime, you wanted to get in the crib. i put you in and you immediately grabbed Wubs. i watched as you turned the pink bear around and around looking for the pacifier. i thought about showing you the paci-part, but then decided not to because I'm trying to wean you off pacis, and such (like the boob). 

i picked you up from the crib and you kind of like tossed  Wubby to the ground. i picked it back up and handed it to you and you did it again. i guess you only liked Wubby for his paci...

#sorrynotsorry