#truelife : chihuahua stories

true life:

you've had a little bit of the runs this past weekend. it breaks my heart to see you sick :( this also led to some bad diaper rash. so, in true mommy spirit, i decided to take a day off from work and stay home with you. i guess this would also be your first stay-home-from-"school"-sick-day. early that morning, and pretty much the reason i stayed home, you woke me up needing a diaper change. when i opened your diaper an explosion had erupted so i decided to wash you off in the bathtub. after bathing, i take you back to your room to put a fresh diaper on so we could climb back in bed for a while. you refused the diaper and wanted to air dry a little; that was fine with me, your little bum could use some fresh air. you crawled around the room, stopped all of a sudden, and sat in a squat position. i thought to myself, "oh shit" and then it literally happened -- you pooped! i yelled, "NOOO!" and Dada came running (he was a sleep in bed because it was like 5:30 am) gosh, i could have kicked myself for thinking it was OK to left you crawl around naked when you had the runs. the only lucky part for me was that it was the firmest poop you had taken in days. it was a little chihuahua poop. i let it dry so it'd be easier to pick up :) #momfail

birth story

i've been meaning to write this for awhile. now that i have finally gotten around to it i'm sure small details will get left out. although, i feel like it was just yesterday this all happened, and i wish i could go back and re-live those first couple of weeks with you :)))

this is going to be a long story...

January 20, 2015

let me start by writing you were five days overdue! so to say the anticipation was killing me was an understatement...

Aunt Leigh had already been admitted to the hospital to have Christine induced. i was soo jealous, but also really excited to meet your cousin. baby Christine was born that afternoon/evening.

at about the time C was born, i started to have some funny feelings, but didn't think much into it. (isn't this what *they* all say, lol?)

Dada and i had an uneventful evening. i think i might have ironed some shirts for him to wear to work the next couple days. around 9:30 pm we got into bed. i kept feeling a tiny cramp happen about every 20 minutes or so, but nothing that made me think, oh i might be in labor.

side note: i had read every article under the sun about anything and everything that had to do with pregnancy and giving birth, and had downloaded multiple pregnancy apps.

Dad falls asleep. (he will tell you that he was up most of the night, but I'm pretty sure you don't snore when you're awake ;))

January 21, 2015

a little after midnight, i still haven't fallen asleep. I'm laying in bed and the tiny cramps have turned into full on contractions. i still don't think i was convinced that i was in labor. excuse me, pre-labor...like i said, i knew i couldn't go to the hospital and be admitted until my contractions were about a minute long, three minutes apart. mine at this point were lasting anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute and happening every 6 to 10 minutes. i might have fallen asleep around 4 am, but i was up and moving around by 6 am.

i had a scheduled obgyn appointment that morning to check on your size, fluid levels and possibly to set a date for an induction. i told Dada when he got up that morning to call out of work because i was pretty sure i was in labor and we were having a BABY!!! to date, this was the most exciting day i have ever lived. i was so ready to meet you!

on the way to the hospital we stopped at chick-fil-a. my contractions were not as bad as they had been, but I'm pretty sure i didn't finish my food. however, i am glad that i ate because i didn't eat again until the next day. i called the doctor's office and told them i thought i was in labor. they told us to head over to labor & delivery. it was getting realer by the second!!!

we arrived at the hospital, parked our car and headed in; filled out a couple forms, got me into a triage room and hooked me up to the monitors. the nurse came in and checked the charts and told us i was 3 cm dilated and in labor. we were going to be admitted!

i was then taken to another room, a big labor & delivery room that over looked st. johns avenue. i will point it out to you one day when we drive by :) it was freezing in the room! Dada and i had planned to let everyone know i was in labor, but wanted to go through it alone. of course, the minute we found out you were actually on your way we changed our minds and invited our close family to come hangout and wait for you.

our doctor came in to check on me. he ended up breaking my water to speed up the process. oh boy, did it speed up! i think i made it through three contractions before i was asking for an epidural. this is when shit (sorry for my language) gets real.

long story short, as I'm sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, holding Dada's hand, i feel a slight pinch in my spine. i react and say, "ouch." the doctor asks if i had felt that. uh, yeah, you're sticking a needle into my spine and i felt something...the doctor immediately knows what she has done...after researching it, after the fact (like weeks after) she has essentially pushed the needle too far and ruptured the membrane in my spinal column; but more on that later...she redoes the epidural, administers the medicine and all seems well. next thing i know I'm being asked if i feel OK. i remember telling my nurse that i felt a little faint, and like i might faint again. next thing we know Joanie and Aunt Mary are being asked to leave the room. a team of doctors & nurses are rushing in. one keeps saying something about a code blue and to prepare an OR. i think it was about this time that i realized we were not OK. all i wanted to know was if you were going to be fine. it was one of the scariest moments of my life. after a couple of minutes the nurses were able to get a reading of your heartbeat by gluing a heart rate monitor to the top of your head. you were always fine, it was me who was losing consciousness, so when i started to pass out they started to prepare to do an emergency c-section. my body had reacted funny to the flood of medicines that were administered through the epidural. all was well for now...

quite some time passes...a couple hours later, i keep complaining about feeling the contractions. the doctor who gave me the epidural comes in and does an alcohol swipe test. i don't know if this is what it was called, but essentially she took an alcohol swab and asked if i could feel her wiping my stomach. i could feel it on my hip, however the higher on my waist she went, the less i could feel it. this meant that the epidural meds were slowly working their way up instead of down in my legs. at this point i was about 8 cm. the doctor explained she could do another epidural or give me pain medications. if i opted to do the pain meds and ended up needing an emergency c-section then i would be knocked out and would wake up to see you an hour or so later. if i had a redo on the epidural then if anything major happened they could do a c-section with me still coherent. scary both ways, but i chose the latter option. as i sat on the edge of the bed nearly passing out with every contraction i managed to remain still long enough to receive another epidural. these were the drugs i had been waiting for! within a minute or two the entire bottom half of my body was numb. it was the weirdest feeling i have ever felt. this was the feeling i had been waiting for; i could no longer feel any of the (extremely) strong contractions that had been wrecking my body for the past half a day. I'd say it was sometime around 3 pm to 4 pm that things started to speed up. one of the doctors had estimated that you'd be here before 6 pm, and around 5:15 pm the nurse said i was ready to start pushing. um, where was the doctor, you might wonder? i don't know if this is how it's always done, but i literally pushed until you were almost out, the doctor walks in, one final push, the doctor grabs you, makes sure you are breathing, hands you off to the nurse, doctors Momma up and then off he goes.

Daddy and the nurse, Marilyn (i think this was her name) pretty much did most of the delivering. i know Dada got way more personal than he wanted to, but when the nurse tells you to grab a leg and help, you do it! i spent about 20 minutes pushing and i couldn't feel a thing. the nurses told me i was doing a great job, so i just kept doing the same thing over and over. at one point, one of the nurses announced you had a lot of dark hair. in my deliriousness i asked to see. next thing i know they are wheeling the biggest horizontal mirror i had ever seen and placed it right at the end of the hospital bed. say what?!? you had tons of hair, but that was an image i could have erased from my memory and never care to see or think about it again! (and here i am writing about it, lol) sorry, but that was way too much for me to handle! i'm pretty sure Daddy has mentally erased a lot of the whole delivery process out of his mind too! although, he did cut the cord! I was so proud of him!

once you had arrived, the nurse got you all "pinked" up; got your blood flowing, cleaned you up (you pooped all over the doctor when you came out -- better him than in me, TMI), and wrapped you in a hospital blanket. cool fact: the blanket that you were wiped clean with was taken home to the puppies so they could learn your smell. im positive this is one of the reasons they are so protective of you! that, and the fact that you're their baby sister :) there was a waiting room full of people anxiously waiting your arrival. after you were snug as bug, Dada called Joanie on her cell phone (she was in the waiting room); when she answered, he put you up to the phone so everyone in the waiting room could hear your little cries! it was sooo sweet, and everyone was in tears. i on the other hand was experiencing round three of intense pain. its even documented, i literally birthed you and Daddy's taking a video and you hear me ask if the headache was normal?

remember back when i wrote about the botched epidural? well this whole time spinal fluid had been leaking into my spinal column causing an imbalance of fluid and making my brain feel like it was sagging. mutha-trucker, you know what...i would have rather given birth to you ten times without medication than to ever experience those headaches again. im not going to lie, it literally ruined the first couple days of new life with you. i ended up going back to the ER the next Monday and having blood drawn, then another epidural where my blood was injected into my spinal column to essentially clot the punctured hole. it was horrible, yet instant relief all at once. i wish someone had of recommend it sooner than 5 days after you were here, but whatever...you were born safe & healthy, and that is all that i could ask for!!

after countless pictures were taken, visitors had come and gone, and we had been at the hospital for about two days, we were more than ready to leave. we talked with multiple nurses, had all the required tests (you passed all with flying colors), i began to pack up all our things and we were taking you home!!! at this same time i completely lost it; i was so scared! i was leaving with a tiny human being and i had no clue what to do (along with the debilitating headaches, on top of hardly any sleep in the past 48-hours), you had me scared beyond words.

your Dada kept you alive for the first couple days after bringing you home. all i could do was lay horizontal and pop painkillers (PSA: if a doctor ever "wet taps" you while getting an epidural, ask for the "blood patch" asap!!). those first couple weeks with you were trial and error. it was definitely a roller coaster ride of figuring out what to do and when. i remember thinking that i would never make it out of the house again. I distinctly remember getting ready to go somewhere, probably a doctor's appointment, giving you a bath, bathing myself (this included putting on makeup & blow-drying my hair); i filled you up with yummy breast milk, but forgot to burp you (whoops!) i picked you up off the bed and you spewed milk ALL over me. i instantly started crying. it's funny to think back on those days. at the time i thought we'd never make it out of the house again. over time i began to learn the routine and schedules in order to make the days easier. i loved those days and cant wait to relive them again when we give you a sibling...one day :)) 

now you are such a "big" little girl. there isn't a day that goes by that you completely melt my heart. i loved that feeling of oxytocin that i would get in those first couple months of nursing you. the feeling is hard to describe, but i'm sure all nursing moms know what im talking about. i long for you to be that tiny baby again who gets a full belly of milk and then passes out for a couple hours. but at the same time, i cant wait to watch you grow and begin to walk and talk. its the absolute most fun thing i have ever experienced. its a constant sting of firsts, from the first bath, to your first solids (you had your first butter cookie the other day), to your first tooth popping up. i love it all, and i love you the most!!

i know details have been left out here and there, but im glad i have finally written this story for you. its the best story to date and i cant wait to add to it every day!

anddd, on a side note, you were born with a permanent best friend for life!! you and christine were born about 22 hours apart! how cool?!? you guys are already the bestest of friends! and the two cutest babes i have ever seen!

xoxo

right after you were born, one of my favorite pictures :)

this was the first time we locked eyes. you were the cutest!!

our first family picture 

our weekend

this past week flew by, and the weekend went by even quicker! we hung out at the house on Friday and aunt Mary came to visit us. we love Fridays because i don't have work. we help Daddy get ready, and send him on his way and then we climb back into bed and snuggle until we wake naturally. we usually just hangout and take it easy. i try to get all my chores done during the week so i don't stress about cleaning on my day off with you. 

you are starting to play by yourself in your room. our house isn't big, so i will pull out your toys and let you play while i clean some dishes or sweep in the other room. i always know you're doing something naughty when it gets really quite. last Friday when i went to check on you i tipped-toed to your room to peak in and you were no where to be found! i was kind of scared for a half-second when all of a sudden i hear something; i look under your changing table and there you were! you had climbed all the way towards the back and were hiding from me!

peek-a-boo!

on Saturday we went to the pond. we had not been all summer and it was definitely an over-due visit. the pups had a blast!! and now i don't have to give them a bath for a while :) Dada got us some homemade biscuits &gravy from the gas station (sounds gross, but the blue-eyed black lady makes some damn good homemade country cookin'). it was soo delicious! after we gobbled down our breakfast, Dada took you on your first front-seat car ride! you had so much fun! i held on tight the whole time. you loved watching your puppies run around the pond!

on Sunday we slept, and slept and then fell back asleep once more. girlfriend, you were one tired baby! i think you might of had a small cold. im always down for snoozing, but when its 11;30 am on a Sunday, sooner or later we have to get up! Dada and I laid in bed and watched you for about 30 minutes before i couldn't keep myself from lovin' on you. we laughed because one day you will probably be weirded out waking up to us staring at you. but for now, it makes you so happy to wake up to both of our faces :))))

gaaaah, you look so comfy :) and you were so comfy!! you gave yourself a bad scratch on your cheek :(  all i can think is, i hope that doesn't leave a scar on her beautiful baby skin. Dada and i literally could stare at you all day! until i cant take it any longer and then i just have to kiss those sweet lips! muah!! xoxo

milestones update

8 months old

you have:
1 tooth & 1 on the way

you say:
mama
dada

you can:
clap
wave bye-bye
play patty-cake
do "so big"
point

you are:
pulling up on everything
crawling all over the place

you love:
momma & dada
your puppies

#truelife : bedwetter

true life:

you woke me up at 5:45 am this morning because your diaper had exploded with the amount of pee it had accumulated over the night and we were both laying in a huge wet spot. dad does not even know this happen #iWontTellifYouDont

even truer: i let it dry and we will sleep there tonight #notashamed #butkinda

the sleeping situation

Mamie,

you are such a persistent baby. you absolutely refuse to go in your crib. i can see and feel your nervousness as your body stiffens and your cling becomes tighter when we stand next to it. it's not just the crib in your room, its any area that places a barrier around you. nonetheless, you now regularly sleep in our bed. i can tell you are less stressed at night time knowing i will not put you into jail (not saying i don't want to sometimes. believe me, there have been times i just think, let's start cry it out tonight). i have accepted we are co-sleepers, and i have come to love it. i love how we snuggle up to each other and how i fall asleep with the top of your head right under my nose. goodness, i just love breathing in that sweet baby smell. i know one day i will miss these moments. 

for a while i had lots of anxiety about us sharing a bed. people of your grandmother's generation don't like the idea of bed sharing. i would feel ashamed telling people you slept in bed with Dada and me. women would shame me for the way our family slept and say you'd never leave the bed. i know you will one day and Dada likes you there too. 

it did take me awhile to get comfortable with you being there. i was and still am at times nervous of sids, but you're pretty strong and you move around all over the place. we do have our nights where i wake up and think, no more! we're moving her to her own room, but then at night all i want to do is get in bed and snuggle up next to you. some nights all you want to do is nurse all. night. long. ill try and push you away from me, but like i said, you're so persistent. at least once a night you will become restless, you will sit up in bed give a little whimpery cry and then face-plant back down looking for my boob. i honestly cant blame you for wanting to sleep in my bed. one article that i read explained it this way, you are sleeping between your two favorite people in the whole world, next to your all-time favorite restaurant that is open 24-hours a day. of course you like Momma's bed :))

this is however becoming a little difficult for your grandmothers. you see, they would prefer you sleep in the crib. i have been sent many pictures of you snuggled up on their chest fast asleep. just this week you managed to only take one 20 minute nap during the day for about three days straight. last night while running an errand, you crashed so hard and slept soundly in your carrier for about 4 hours. you did the funniest thing while on the way home; you stirred a little - we like to say "the monster is waking" - then while still sleeping, you lifted your hand and gave your egg-shaker a couple shakes. Dada and i cracked up laughing!! i tipped-toed around the house when we got home and told Dada to turn his video games down in fear of you waking. it was one of the best nights I've had in a while. i was able to get all my nightly chores done just in time for you to wake up, nurse, get pjs on, then fall soundly back to sleep. 

i cannot wait for bedtime tonight! i love and miss you so much during the day!

xoxo.

Momma

napping on the pups' bed

8 months, 1 day

Mamie,

you turned 8 months old yesterday. i forgot to take your monthly picture...oops! i wish i had gotten around to starting these letters before you were born, but oh well, nothing like the present. you are such a wild woman and as cliche as this is, your Dada and I fall deeper in love with you everyday.

you have yet to face a challenge that you are unable to conquer. you are so determined to have things your way, and most, if not all of the time, you do get your way. it scares me that I might be raising a brat. you already throw mini temper-tantrums when i take something away from you. last night, it was a brush. you wanted to chew on the handle; i didn't want you to fall and gag yourself. I'm constantly thinking about who you will be someday. but, no more dwelling on the future, here are some things that have happened recently :)

like i said you are so determined. you have given your momma one heart-attack after another. since you have become mobile and started crawling you explore every inch of space you can get your hands on. one case in particular, you had just started crawling. you weren't very good at it yet and didn't move very quick. you fell asleep on my bed and i was too nervous to move you into your crib in fear of you waking up and deciding you didn't need a nap anymore. (your sleeping situation is a long, looong story for another letter, that and your birth story:)) so i left you, and barricaded you with pillows. you always wake up whining for me, so i figured I'd hear you before you were able to crawl off the bed. the house was quite and i was getting chores done when all of a sudden chief barks and then you start crying. i yell, "damn you chief! you woke up the baby!" and go walking back into the bedroom to get you. you were not on the bed!! panicked and fearful, i run to the side of the bed where you lay sobbing. you had silently crawled off the bed and (luckily) had fallen onto a pillow. you were OK, and i snuggled you and soothed your tears, but it was hard to get that yucky gut feeling of 'what could have happen' out of my stomach. that was the last time you napped on our bed without supervision. however that wasn't the last time you sent me into panic mode.

p.s. Momma never told Dada this story (yikes!). I just couldn't bear the guilt i knew he'd put on me.

another time, just recently, we were spending an afternoon at the pool with aunt Leigh, uncle Carter and your cousins. you were floating around the baby pool in a blowup float-thing. one minute you were minding your own business, just hanging out, the next, poof - over the side you went. gosh, I've never moved so fast! i ripped you out of the water and there you were, unfazed that anything bad had happen. you had about three women around the pool ready to jump in fully clothed. you had held your breath, so you weren't coughing up water or anything and you didn't once shed a tear. all i could think was, Lord, help me!

fast forward to that Sunday...it was about 8:30 in the evening. dinner was ready and starting to get cold, I had a list full of things to get done before bedtime and you were ready to partay!! now we have this routine (nurse, eat, play, bath, pjs, nurse, sleep), also another story for another post, but you had different plans for the evening. you absolutely did not want to go to sleep. you were crawling on me like a jungle-gym with no plans to close your eyes anytime soon. i was over-it!

side note: you had been falling asleep while i rocked you, and then i would transfer you to the crib where you would sleep for about an hour or so; just long enough for me to eat some dinner and finish my chores before bedtime. you see, you sleep with us. every. single. night...

however, this time i was over it, SO over it that i stuck you in your crib to cry it out. you, like always, immediately lost your shit. it starts out with crying and then it turns into full-on screaming until someone picks you up. i walked out of the room and told Dada we were going to let you cry. about 20 minutes later after an anxiety-filled dinner had been scarfed down with screaming shrills coming from your room, Dada told me he was going to get you. just as we were walking back to your room we hear a thud, and the crying stops. i literally almost threw up. i told Dada to go check on you in fear of what i might find. he ran to your room and turned on the light and there you were crawling across the floor babbling "MaMaMa". You were OK! Dada told me to sit down because i had lost all color in my face. You had a lump on your head, but we googled "how to tell if baby has a concussion" and i called the pediatrician the next day. long story short, you figured out how to get out of the crib before you were 8 months old!!

Lord help me! Mamie, you will be the death of me! I'm so sorry this first letter had to be about all the bad things that have happen. I guess I just wanted to get all this off my chest so I could start writing about all the wonderful things you have done :) You learn so fast and you never cease to amazing me!! i love you sweet bebe!!

xoxo,

Momma