the sleeping situation

Mamie,

you are such a persistent baby. you absolutely refuse to go in your crib. i can see and feel your nervousness as your body stiffens and your cling becomes tighter when we stand next to it. it's not just the crib in your room, its any area that places a barrier around you. nonetheless, you now regularly sleep in our bed. i can tell you are less stressed at night time knowing i will not put you into jail (not saying i don't want to sometimes. believe me, there have been times i just think, let's start cry it out tonight). i have accepted we are co-sleepers, and i have come to love it. i love how we snuggle up to each other and how i fall asleep with the top of your head right under my nose. goodness, i just love breathing in that sweet baby smell. i know one day i will miss these moments. 

for a while i had lots of anxiety about us sharing a bed. people of your grandmother's generation don't like the idea of bed sharing. i would feel ashamed telling people you slept in bed with Dada and me. women would shame me for the way our family slept and say you'd never leave the bed. i know you will one day and Dada likes you there too. 

it did take me awhile to get comfortable with you being there. i was and still am at times nervous of sids, but you're pretty strong and you move around all over the place. we do have our nights where i wake up and think, no more! we're moving her to her own room, but then at night all i want to do is get in bed and snuggle up next to you. some nights all you want to do is nurse all. night. long. ill try and push you away from me, but like i said, you're so persistent. at least once a night you will become restless, you will sit up in bed give a little whimpery cry and then face-plant back down looking for my boob. i honestly cant blame you for wanting to sleep in my bed. one article that i read explained it this way, you are sleeping between your two favorite people in the whole world, next to your all-time favorite restaurant that is open 24-hours a day. of course you like Momma's bed :))

this is however becoming a little difficult for your grandmothers. you see, they would prefer you sleep in the crib. i have been sent many pictures of you snuggled up on their chest fast asleep. just this week you managed to only take one 20 minute nap during the day for about three days straight. last night while running an errand, you crashed so hard and slept soundly in your carrier for about 4 hours. you did the funniest thing while on the way home; you stirred a little - we like to say "the monster is waking" - then while still sleeping, you lifted your hand and gave your egg-shaker a couple shakes. Dada and i cracked up laughing!! i tipped-toed around the house when we got home and told Dada to turn his video games down in fear of you waking. it was one of the best nights I've had in a while. i was able to get all my nightly chores done just in time for you to wake up, nurse, get pjs on, then fall soundly back to sleep. 

i cannot wait for bedtime tonight! i love and miss you so much during the day!

xoxo.

Momma

napping on the pups' bed